My Baby's ONE!

I can NOT believe that one year ago, I was snuggling a little newborn, wondering what she is going to be like in a year! NOW I KNOW! Ha! She is a sassy little girl with a 'tude! She refuses to walk because she thinks crawling is faster and easier, and LOVES MEAT! I had no idea she would be like this! But, I love it regardless! She loves to laugh at her brother and throw temper tantrums! But I still think she is the light in my heart! When I see Steve with her, its a whole new side of him! Not the rough and tumble, I'm gonna wrestle you, type of love! Her eyes light up when she sees her daddy and its the best feeling in the whole world! Her first birthday was fun! We celebrated as a family on her "real" birthday. Got her a cake from Target and gave her some presents! She loved it, so did Layne. He seems to be taking after me, wanting to open all her presents! But, its ok, she opens one and wants to play with that and forgets about the others! She loves cake! Had the best time with it! I am sure she would have preferred a "beef" cake, because she is obsessed with meat, but I just couldn't get that kind of cake :) She is more and more beautiful everyday and I can't wait for what the next year brings us! BRING IT ON!

Birthday Week!

Layne has turned 3! WATCH OUT!
They say that it's the terrible TWO'S but oh dear... Today has put a whole new meaning on Terrible THREES!! The first thing he does when he wakes up today is come into our room and wake me up. I say "Happy birthday baby!!!" and he says back "Happy Birthday MOM!!" I thought it was going to be an AWESOME birthday! Then he went on to ask for a beer at breakfast time and from then on... I knew it would somehow go down hill. He knew that since it was HIS day, that he could try and get away with everything under the sun. Including sneaking out of time out (which he has never done), ask for beer for breakfast, taking away toys from Laelynn after tackling her, the list goes on and on. But, after all said and done, this little guy is the one of the best things that had happen to me in the last 3 years. I wouldn't trade him in for ANYTHING!

We had two parties for him. One was a dinosaur party that he wanted my family and friends. I made him an awesome Dinosaur cake. I drew dinosaurs on the windows with window markers, and he had his cousins here from Alaska! It was awesome! Then my mom had a birthday party for him tonight. With a Spiderman cake and pizza! He loved it. But there are sometimes that I should wait until he is out of the room to speak.
Just like any other mom would do... wait until the exact moment of birth is when he will turn three. This was at 6:39 pm. At 6:25 pm I said, unknowingly he would remember, "I believe only Laynes head is 3, the rest of the body hadn't come out yet." So later when my sister came in, she asked how old he was. His response... "My head is 3!" Oh dear.

Springs Here!!

It is about time we can open the windows and feel the cool breeze on our faces, then hear the sneezes, coughs, and runny noses. Allergies all over the place! Poor Layne and Laelynn have decided to be sick with this miserable crap for over 3 months now! It is ridiculous! But gotta take the good with the bad right?
Laelynn has been crawling since she was about 8 months old. She is all over the place and in lightening speed! She pulls up on everything, including myself. She is like a little person now! I can't believe how fast it all went!
Layne can count to 20 (sometimes), knows most of his colors/shapes, and can sing the ABC's! He is pure genius :) I'm am just kidding. I will NOT be those mothers who thinks their child is a Doogie Houser at age 3. OR I might, who knows :)
So even though they are both ALWAYS sick, they have grown so much, that it makes me teary eyed. Sometimes I wish (remember, sometimes) I could keep them this age because of the unconditional love they give. That's all they know! Layne calls me his Princess and I am to call him, my prince. He saves me from the evil dragons and tells me "I love you Princess!" It melts my heart. THEN, there are those times like the one in church this past Saturday night.
I like to take both of my children to church, when I have help of course. I like that they can learn to listen and enjoy the stories. This is also a very stressful time as well. Layne is ALMOST to the age where he SHOULD know to whisper and not blurt out loud. Lu on the other hand, will sing with the music, playing or not. We walk into church and he is full force, like someone feed him some Easter candy to be good. Who would do such a thing?? :) OK, my fault. As we start to take our seats he is bouncing off the invisible walls of the pews. The nice lady behind us says, "Oh he's so cute!" As the words just fell out of my mouth, I muttered "Do you want him?" Of course I wasn't serious! He's my little man... But oh was I ready to loan him out the hour we were there. She just giggled. As church when on, I had to take Laelynn out because of her constant need to get out of our arms and onto the floor to explore the varies pieces of dirt and grass left from shoes. We were about ready to go back to join the rest, and here comes Layne with my sister. "HEY mom! Whacha doing?" All the other moms with their babies were laughing. I am sure because they are thinking "Better her then me!" I kept Cecily out there with him, while I took Lu back in. 3 minutes later, in walks the two, distraught on my sisters face. "We were a bit naughty out there!" she stated. The steam kept filling up, minute by minute. I am sure you could probably see it sneaking out of my ears. As we were doing our "Peace be with you's, he looks at the lady behind us again, "No, I don't have batteries in my bum." So matter-of-factly that I was so in shock, all I could do was laugh. What can you do? Not much. All she says is "Man, I wish I had his energy!" I mumble... Me too. Jesus sure does love his children, naughty or not, in church. I guess I'll keep taking him.

Hard Times make for Stronger people!

Well, in that past month, our family has gone through A LOT! I am not talking about what a bad day that was... I'm talking about... I am ready to crawl under a rock until Febuary comes around! This may sound a bit over exaggerating, but it was a hard month!
With this post partumn crap, I tend to become more emotional with everything that happens. So yes, I can be a super bitch at times. So sorry :) As most of you know, the first day back to school after winter break was the scariest day of my life. It was more scary for others closer involved and less scary for those who have less involvement in it. Here is my story:
Just another Wednesday at school. First day back, kids were pretty quiet (thank goodness) because they were all tired from all the presents, candy, family time they had. It was nice weather as we all head out to recess after lunch. It was nice to have them all run around and have fun with their friends they hadn't seen in a couple weeks! Towards the middle of recess, the school nurse came running out to tell us there was a code red. Code red means we all go into our rooms, shut the lights off and sit in the corner quietly. We have many practices with this, thinking we would NEVER have to use it. Today was the day. As the other teacher and I herded all the children in, I was the last one in. The nurse tells me there was a shooting at Millard South. For all of you that didn't know. My mom works in the front office of Millard South. My heart dropped. Tears started to fall, I started to shake. There was NO way I would be able to comfort my students knowing my mom was there in the middle of this nightmare. I grabbed my phone and started to call her. No answer. I got all my kids in the room, shut the lights off and waited. I think the kids were a little taken back from what happened, they were not sure what to say. Even though they weren't to say anything. Finally... my phone rang. It was my mom. THANK GOD!!!! "Mom!!! Are you ok????" Trying not to let the kids hear my worried voice, she says "YES! I am in the car wash right now!" WHAT? The car wash? She wasn't even there. She was on her lunch break. I told her I loved her and had to hang up. Now that I knew she was ok, I could take care of my students. I read them a story, they asked questions. All I could say was, there must be something going on down the street. I do have a door that goes outside. No windows. They wanted to know if a bad guy could get through that? After I reassured them it was bad guy proof... Someone tried to open it. I nearly crapped my pants. Turns out it was police officers making sure they were all locked.
After it was over and all the kids were gone, I lost it. I don't care what people say, I am close to most of those up at Millard South. I am there with the kids all summer. They have watched them grow up. Especially Vicki. She loved Layne. So of course I was upset. Some people could not understand why I, out of all people, would be mostly saddened by this?! Well, come on people! Put YOU in that situation. I guess people will think what they want to huH! Well, after comforting my mom from all of this, Steve's grandmother passed away. This was just a few days ago. Very sad. Since my grandma and all my other relatives live far away. I consider all of his family, my own. She was struck with cancer around Thanksgiving and now is an angel above us. She was ready to go, wanted to go. She said she just couldn't find the right road. I prayed and prayed for someone up there, maybe Vicki, to help her. Finally, she found it.

Death and me do not mix well. This is when I need friends the most. This was definitely a true test of friendship. So thank you to all those who were there for me. It means the world. Those of you that I thought you would be there and weren't. Now I know. I am still a bit upset with those who did not even ask how I was, or my mom. Just goes to show that some people only think about themselves.

So lets hope for a WONDERFUL Feburary and things looking up. I hate feeling like this and being sad allll the time. Thank you to all that helped me! I hope I can turn around and be there for you!

"God places the heaviest burdens on those who can carry the weight." Reggie White
Lets hope I can carry the weight!

It's back and I hate it!

I know that blogs are suppose to be full of happy and funny times. About your kids and what they do that make you laugh. All positive, especially near the holidays, but thats not all true in the life of Katie here. I figured that maybe if I write about it, maybe it will help me get through it. This ugly thing called Post Partumn. I thought I was scott free of it because it was past the time I had it with Layne. I was wrong.
For those of you that have no idea what I am talking about... You should throw your hands in the air and thank God he skipped you! Here are my experiences with this ugly monster, and maybe it will help at least ONE mom out there that is struggling with this. I HATE dealing with it by myself, so if I can help ONE, I have done my part!
After I had Layne (my 2 1/2 year old) I had no idea what was going to hit me. I breastfed him until he was 4 months. He was an early bloomer for teeth. Once he decided that my nipples were teething rings, I was done with that. About a week later, my mind went out on me. It was going 100 miles a minute. Very scary thing, if you have never experienced that! I was taking a shower to get ready for work and couldn't even handle that! I hurry and got ready hoping that when I got to work, my mind would slow down and I could focus on other things. When I got there, I broke down. I had to sit in the Assistant principals office for the morning, uncontrollably crying, not understanding what was wrong with me. I called my doctor and she knew right away what was wrong. She put in a prescription for Lexapro (antidepressant) to help me out. If you know me well enough, I HATE drugs! It takes a lot for me to even take cold meds when I am sick! But at the time of desperation, I figured anything that would help, I am up for. Of course, this is not something that takes effect right away. So my awesome principal told me to take the day off. Of course I couldn't be alone. It was too scary. So I called Steve and he came to my rescue. We went to see a funny movie (Role Models) and my mind and I calmed down. Very scary moment in my life. Now, for those of you that are like me and hate drugs. I stopped after a week of the Lexapro. Course it takes a couple weeks to take into effect, but I didn't want it in my system. I figured if God gave this to me, He knew I could "kick" it by myself. So what I did instead was go to counseling, ran every night (which was the best) and did lots and lots of Yoga. A combination of these did wonders, plus I got into great shape! Everytime I wanted to cry or had bad thoughts, I ran to the tredmill. Someone once told me that this girl had bad depression and ran lots. It finally got rid of it without medicine! I was all for that. Mine was gone after a couple months of my own "medicine" and I was my happy little self again.
Then came Laelynn. My little angel. Though I love her more than anything, this weekend I couldn't stand her. Couldn't hold her, couldn't hear her cry. It all made me feel like the WORST person alive! YOU MADE HER and YOU can't handle her? What's wrong with you? Then it all came flooding back. Like a dam had opened up and the flashbacks came popping up again. PPD reared its ugly head again. I knew it was coming, I just didn't want to believe it. Now , thank God, I have never gotten to the point where I wanted to hurt her, but I got VERY frustrated with her.
I woke up that morning with an anxiety attack. I then knew it was gonna be "that" kind of day. Couldn't bring any of the muscles in my mouth to smile or be happy what so ever. Scared the hell out of me. I knew I had to attack this in the butt before it got too bad. I hadn't told Steve yet, because he has been sick and I knew he didn't have the patience to deal with it right now. So I tried to keep it on the downlow. Bad idea, ALWAYS TELL THEM! At nap time, he left to go help my dad. Laelynn decided she wanted to test me and didn't take a nap AT ALL! He came into the room with me almost yelling at her to go to sleep. I handed her off and went and cried in the shower for about 45 minutes. All I kept thinking was what a horrible mother and who couldn't handle their own child!
Steve, feeling pretty shitty, didn't know what to do. Before she was born, I wrote him a nice long letter telling him what goes on through my head and about 100 things that would make me happy. You'd think he'd pull those out! I finally calmed myself down. I had a baby shower to get ready for (0r so I thought) and I wanted to bring Laelynn. My mind kept telling me it wasn't a good idea. I wasn't ready to be with her alone yet. But I was trying to keep strong for Steve and I told him I was fine. God works in crazy ways, because as Laelynn and I were pulling out of the driveway. I called Steve to have him check the invite one more time. It wasn't until the NEXT day! I felt a sigh of relief. I knew I shouldn't be taking her anywhere. So I brought her back in and went to Target to just "get out." I know what I need to do, run and some yoga. But I am still in the "slump" and can get myself to do it. I will before it gets too bad. You know what really makes me mad though! Even though most of you don't want to let anyone know what is going on with you, in the back of you mind, you just want your friends to see there is something wrong. But do they? Nope... and I am always there for them. I guess in the tough times, you really find out who your real friends are huH!? (Sorry there I go again!) As I am trying not to cry through the day, I keep thinking "This too will pass." Kind of like diarrhea.
This too will pass.

If you are one that is going through this horrible time and are keeping it too yourself! DON'T! Here are some great websites to get help! Call your doctor!

http://www.ehealthmd.com/library/depressionpregnancy/DPR_how.html
http://www.compleatmother.com/articles2/postpartumdepression.htm
http://www.yogajournal.com/lifestyle/1653
http://www.yogasolara.com/yoga-alleviates-postpartum-depression-492/


Remember...
This too will pass!
(thats my daily moto!)

I need some help!!!

Ok, so I have had ENOUGH! Even experienced moms forget how to fix these types of problems! Like me :) So I need your help. Here is my problem;
Laelynn is almost 5 months old now and had some bad acid reflux a couple months ago. So to solve THIS problem we had her sleep in her swing chair. This detaches from the actual swing, so we put it in her crib with her in it. We also would (and still do) swaddle her because her rapid arm movements are so strong she will probably wake up with a black eye. I would rather not have everyone wonder "Why does a tiny infant have a black eye?" SO, she has been sleeping in this for a while. She also sleeps in her swing at daycare too. So all around she gets to sleep sitting up. Rarely, does she sleep lying down in fear that I don't get my 8 hours of sleep... Well, that kicked me right in the @ss!
She has not slept more than 3 hours in a row for the past week. I DO NOT have a newborn! She does not need to eat every 3 hours... She just wakes up crying! We have even started her on soilds, rice cereal, oatmeal, peas, etc. So I figured she would sleep longer because her tummy is full! NOPE, she is sleeping less. Maybe she loves the food so much she wants to be fed all the time, I dunno. I am stuck.
She had her 4 month appointment last week (a couple weeks late) and doc said that we should just "rip the bandaid off." Which means; take away the chair and swaddle all at once. WHAT? Crazy lady... Anywho, I need some advice on how to solve this problem. How do we get her to sleep through the whole night, or if she is going to get up b/c she is hungry, just ONCE!! Any advice would be WONDERFUL!
Thanks,
So Sleepy Mommy :)

Its been too long!

Well,
Just would like to start off with saying sorry I haven't posting in a while... well LONG TIME. It has been such a whirlwind since Laelynn was born. Between the diaper changing, feeding, walking, kissing chubby cheeks, trying to protect Lulu (her nickname) from becoming a pancake and potty training... this was the LAST thing on my mind! BUT Lulu is sleeping from 8- anywhere between 3,4 or 5 and Layne is ALMOST potty trained! So things are great! I would like to share with you just a couple of stories... When they happened I thought to myself.. "Man, I want to write this on my blog!" (For real, I did!) But never got to it, so here goes...


Story number one:

Layne is going through his "terrible twos" stage just as Lulu decided to come along. I believe that even might have pushed... wait, no SHOVED, it along. So one morning, the best husband in the world decided he was going to let me sleep in, after waking up at 2, 4 and 6. He got up with our little buddy to eat breakfast while mommy got to catch a couple more zzz's. Daddy and Layne were sitting at the table eating "cereals" when Layne kicked him. Steve thought well, thats just part of his "stage" so ignore it. UNTIL... Layne tells him "I kick your ass." WHAT??? YOU ARE TWO! Who knows where he learned that because, for one thing, I do not go around telling Steve "I kick your ass!" And when he is a daycare, I am pretty sure our daycare lady does not tell the kids she will kick their ass if they don't behave. So, moral of the story, don't let your child what South Park. No just kidding :
)


Story number two:

Layne has said some OUT THERE things to us, but I thought this was pretty "Blog worthy." We have been working on potty training for a good 2 month now. Slowly, but surely, we are finally getting the hang of things. We don't want to push him because people tell us that he is still pretty young. BUT come on.. diapers are expensive... especially for when we have one already that craps every 3 hours! He has been doing very good! He just started to poop in the potty (which is HUGE for all those parents that go through it!). We give him a sucker every time he does go #2 on the potty, so he likes to try... a lot. Yesterday he went at daycare, got a sucker. Came home and went with Steve, got a sucker. Ran around with a massive sugar rush. Decided he wanted to keep it going and told me he needed to poop again. For real? Well, I took him in there and... not joking... he pooped for 10 minutes. When I asked him where he got all of this poop he answered... "At Hy-vee." Nice.. I must have missed that aisle.

Story number 3

Now we have one of the most enjoyable additions to our family. Laelynn is such a great baby. She is always happy, sleeps a hell of a lot more than Layne did at her age and makes us so happy and complete.
Just a week ago, we got another addition...two additions! But these additions decide to eat Riley's food, poop in our pantry and make my anxiety level sky high. Yes, these are mice. There are...no were... two. The first one we found was kicked by me. I was making breakfast with Layne and I kicked something, thinking it was just a silly toy of Riley's. Um, no. It was a gross, large, disgusting mouse. After I kicked it, Ry ran past me and tried to chase it. All I see is this blur of gray running under the oven, out and under the fridge. If Lulu wasn't sleeping, there would have been A LOT of screaming. But Steve, on the other hand, was MAJORLY hungover from the night before and did not like me coming in to tell him there was a mouse in the house. Let me set the scene for you. Steve struggles to get out of bed... Come to find me and Layne ontop of the kitchen table. Broom in hand (not that I would use it, I would be busy screaming) I guarded the door so the mouse wouldn't get out. It took us 3 hours to catch this flipping mouse. It finally got caught on the sticky trap we set. Thinking we finally got him, no more mice. Tonight, I find mouse poo on the couch. There goes another one zooming from underneath the couch. I can't help but thing, he sat there and watched tv with us all night. Or he was there while we played with the kids tonight! How do I know he was there, only the 2 HUGE piles of Ryry's food underneath the couch! Gross! I am so over these mice! As we speak, he is now inside our "Island." We have finagled sticky traps underneath his hole, so I hope he is caught when I wake up at 4 to feed. If not, I am moving.