Well, in that past month, our family has gone through A LOT! I am not talking about what a bad day that was... I'm talking about... I am ready to crawl under a rock until Febuary comes around! This may sound a bit over exaggerating, but it was a hard month!
With this post partumn crap, I tend to become more emotional with everything that happens. So yes, I can be a super bitch at times. So sorry :) As most of you know, the first day back to school after winter break was the scariest day of my life. It was more scary for others closer involved and less scary for those who have less involvement in it. Here is my story:
Just another Wednesday at school. First day back, kids were pretty quiet (thank goodness) because they were all tired from all the presents, candy, family time they had. It was nice weather as we all head out to recess after lunch. It was nice to have them all run around and have fun with their friends they hadn't seen in a couple weeks! Towards the middle of recess, the school nurse came running out to tell us there was a code red. Code red means we all go into our rooms, shut the lights off and sit in the corner quietly. We have many practices with this, thinking we would NEVER have to use it. Today was the day. As the other teacher and I herded all the children in, I was the last one in. The nurse tells me there was a shooting at Millard South. For all of you that didn't know. My mom works in the front office of Millard South. My heart dropped. Tears started to fall, I started to shake. There was NO way I would be able to comfort my students knowing my mom was there in the middle of this nightmare. I grabbed my phone and started to call her. No answer. I got all my kids in the room, shut the lights off and waited. I think the kids were a little taken back from what happened, they were not sure what to say. Even though they weren't to say anything. Finally... my phone rang. It was my mom. THANK GOD!!!! "Mom!!! Are you ok????" Trying not to let the kids hear my worried voice, she says "YES! I am in the car wash right now!" WHAT? The car wash? She wasn't even there. She was on her lunch break. I told her I loved her and had to hang up. Now that I knew she was ok, I could take care of my students. I read them a story, they asked questions. All I could say was, there must be something going on down the street. I do have a door that goes outside. No windows. They wanted to know if a bad guy could get through that? After I reassured them it was bad guy proof... Someone tried to open it. I nearly crapped my pants. Turns out it was police officers making sure they were all locked.
After it was over and all the kids were gone, I lost it. I don't care what people say, I am close to most of those up at Millard South. I am there with the kids all summer. They have watched them grow up. Especially Vicki. She loved Layne. So of course I was upset. Some people could not understand why I, out of all people, would be mostly saddened by this?! Well, come on people! Put YOU in that situation. I guess people will think what they want to huH! Well, after comforting my mom from all of this, Steve's grandmother passed away. This was just a few days ago. Very sad. Since my grandma and all my other relatives live far away. I consider all of his family, my own. She was struck with cancer around Thanksgiving and now is an angel above us. She was ready to go, wanted to go. She said she just couldn't find the right road. I prayed and prayed for someone up there, maybe Vicki, to help her. Finally, she found it.
Death and me do not mix well. This is when I need friends the most. This was definitely a true test of friendship. So thank you to all those who were there for me. It means the world. Those of you that I thought you would be there and weren't. Now I know. I am still a bit upset with those who did not even ask how I was, or my mom. Just goes to show that some people only think about themselves.
So lets hope for a WONDERFUL Feburary and things looking up. I hate feeling like this and being sad allll the time. Thank you to all that helped me! I hope I can turn around and be there for you!
"God places the heaviest burdens on those who can carry the weight." Reggie White
Lets hope I can carry the weight!
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